Cancer affects every aspect of your – and your partner’s – life and it can feel almost impossible to find the time, energy and desire for intimacy of any kind. Treatment can be intense and invasive and cause physical changes in the body that, matched with the emotional strain, often extinguish any sense of sexual fire that might still be glowing inside. But while the physical and psychological effects are incredibly real, they don’t have to be barriers in the bedroom. There are a multitude of tools that women can use to help them build, maintain and celebrate their sexuality during every stage of cancer treatment.

The brain is women’s No. 1 most important sex organ. When the mind is distracted, diverted or clouded by stress, sex is often the last activity on her to-do list and orgasms simply don’t come easily – or at all. Logically, cancer causes myriad emotional stresses (depression, anxiety, guilt, fear) but it also wreaks havoc on a woman’s sexual desire, self-worth, self-esteem, and the physical changes that come before, during and after treatment make many women feel simply unsexy.

And even with a positive mindset, the physical effects of cancer can make sex difficult, even painful, which leaves some women feeling “broken” and unequipped to deal with the way their bodies have changed. Vaginal dryness, painful intercourse, nausea, extreme fatigue, loss of sensation – they’re all very common and very real obstacles to navigate alongside what can be an incredibly scary disease. Especially when mastectomy or other surgeries are involved.

But the good news is that, while the mind and body undergo change, your orgasms probably won’t! The American Cancer society reports that almost all women maintain their orgasmic abilities after treatment and that it may be as easy as before – it just takes practice. Fortunately, the experimentation process alone is a wonderfully effective way to build and strengthen intimacy with a partner, even if intercourse or orgasm isn’t the end result!

So as you prepare to make pleasure practice a regular part of your life, here are some important factors to keep in mind as you learn new ways to enjoy a healthy sex life:

• Treatment can be exhausting, so schedule sex for times you feel most rested. Your partner can help with chores and other tiresome activities around the house to help you preserve energy. Just avoid getting busy after eating a heavy meal.

• Getting in the mood can feel like a major feat, so try new forms of foreplay to help put your mind in the game. Sexy music, erotica or even soft porn can get juices flowing, and sensual massage is an intimate and effective way to relax, soothe nerves, and feel comfortable to move on to the next steps. A warm bath or shower with scented candles or oils also can help stimulate the senses – especially if you invite your partner to join in.

• Play with positions. Before treatment, reverse cowgirl or doggy style may have been your go-to’s, but they put incredible strain on joints and energy levels. Try positions that require less physical exertion: lie on your side (spooning-style) or on your back with your hips at the edge of the bed. These positions help you feel deep and satisfying pleasure while keeping you and your partner intimately close, and make it easier for your body to relax and get into the groove.

• Sex might feel different and you may need additional stimulation to help you feel pleasure in the ways you’re accustomed to, especially when it comes to having an orgasm. Sex toys are a fun and effective way to give your (or your partner’s) fingers a rest and can even enhance sensations in an entirely new way, making orgasm come easier and faster. Try massaging a mini vibrator on your clitoris during foreplay or in certain sex positions you find comfortable and see how you feel. You might be surprised by how much you (and your partner!) love it.

• Lubrication is key for comfortable and pleasurable intercourse, but chemotherapy, stress and so many other factors (dehydration, distraction, menopause) get in the way of your vagina’s usual waterworks. An all-natural water-based or silicone-based lubricant is recommended to keep sex slick and smooth while preventing any kind of chafing, rubbing and general discomfort that vaginal dryness can cause.

• Sexual pleasure beyond intercourse can satisfy both partners when penetration just isn’t an option. Intimacy is so much more than penetration and the sense of touch – and being touched – can be incredibly erotic while connecting you and your partner (literally and figuratively) at a different level. Caress, hug and massage the skin and use hands to stimulate sensitive areas while being mindful of areas to avoid. The neck, forearms, stomach, inner thigh and even feet are erogenous zones not to be missed! And remember: orgasms don’t have to be your goal.

• Sex during chemo can require extra precautions: When blood counts are low, avoid intercourse and oral stimulation as they can spread bacteria and increase risk of infection. Birth control is a must if pregnancy is possible.

• Communicate what you’re feeling, both emotionally and physically. You’re both learning how to be intimate with each other in a completely new way and it’s important to give each other space to share concerns, feelings and ideas. Easier said than done, but it feels less scary each time you open up.

• A good sense of humor can help you get through some of the most awkward, uncomfortable and embarrassing parts of the process. It’s OK to laugh at sounds, smells or situations that are way out of your comfort zones – you’re in it together (in more ways than one) and you’ll feel stronger with every chuckle.

There are a wide variety of trusted resources available online and at various treatment centers to learn more about sexual health before, during and after cancer – the Dana-Farber Cancer Institute (one of the nation’s leading cancer hospitals) even devotes an entire program to it. Don’t feel afraid to ask your doctor for more information; sex and intimacy is one of the most common concerns of women and couples undergoing treatment. You’re not alone: breast cancer affects 1 in 8 U.S. women at some point in their lives, and preserving the intimate relationships they hold with their partners – and especially themselves – is key to maintaining a healthy and happy sense of wellbeing during one of the most stressful times in life.

The post Inspiring Intimacy (and Having Sex) During Cancer appeared first on The Best-Selling Vibrating Ring | Screaming O.

It’s no secret that sex is good for our health. Aside from bigger smiles, boosts in self-confidence, and endorphin rushes, orgasms have a variety of health benefits that go deeper (way deeper) than the obvious. And there are direct correlations between orgasms and breast cancer prevention, which is as mind-blowing as it is amazing. So do it and do it all the time – in the name of health, of course!

Among other hormones, orgasms release a neurotransmitter called oxytocin, which is responsible for a slew of incredible effects – pain relief, intense joy and stress-relief to name a few. But this powerful and important hormone also has been attributed to the delay in development of breast cancer cells. In 1994, a team of scientists in Italy performed a study that involved treating breast cancer cells in mice and rats with oxytocin and measuring each cell’s reaction. The results showed a measurable link between the “love hormone” and inhibited breast cancer cell growth – an exciting, though unexpected, effect!

The body releases a lingering flood of oxytocin along with every orgasm, so naturally, we’ve added “do it daily” to our breast cancer prevention best practice list. But sometimes having an orgasm isn’t so easy – and that’s what we’re here for. Here are 3 things that will make O-faces come a little easier:

1. Lubrication
One of the many amazing abilities of the female body is self-lubrication. Sometimes, women get turned on like a faucet, creating their own wet wonderland between their legs and facilitating some incredibly pleasant sex action. Other times, they could use a little slickness assistance, and that’s where lube comes in.

Lubricant was created not to fix a problem or facilitate some kind of kinky fetish (though it certainly fulfills both of those roles, if you want to get technical); it’s here to protect our delicate and beloved lady parts from the discomfort of dryness – and make sex feel so so so much better! Any amount of dryness “down there” can cause unwanted friction that can make intercourse feel uncomfortable and even painful. Try adding lube (even if you don’t think you need it) and see how it helps the sexual experience!

And for the solo folks, lubricant can transform an ordinary masturbation experience into something very special – and for many women, help make it easier to have an orgasm. Most women experience pleasure from stimulating their clitorises and adding lubrication can transform the sensation into a smooth glide across sensitive skin. And adding lube to the nipples heightens the feeling of touch and can get you even closer to the big O. Practice makes perfect, so stock up and start rehearsing!

2. Meditation
The brain is the most important sex organ, especially for women, and if it’s not focused on the task at hand, there’s a good chance that orgasms won’t come easily. But with so much going on in our lives every day, it can be tough to just turn it all off – and that’s how meditation can help. Even just a few minutes dedicated to clearing and calming the mind can make a world of difference in the sex department.

Try this: lie on your back with your eyes closed. Take a deep breath in and a deep breath out. Count how many seconds it takes to fill up your lungs and then exhale in the same amount of time. 1…2…3…4…keep that up, in and out, until all you’re focused on is breathing. Try challenging yourself with slower, deeper breaths and see how long it takes for your heartbeat to slow and your mind to mellow out. You’ll be amazing at how quickly it can work – and how fast it can help you get in the mood to get busy!

3. Vibration
Some women didn’t have their first orgasm until they discovered vibrators. Sex toys like these take the strenuous work out of self-love and give your fingers (or whatever home-made tools you might be using) a break. And thanks to technological advancements, you can find vibrators that massage, tickle, tease and intensely stimulate wherever you put them with multiple speeds and various functions.

Start small – mini vibes are portable, compact, easy to use and often cost a lot less than their more advanced counterparts. Once you feel what you like (and what you don’t), you can shop around for the perfect sex toy that’ll help you get closer to orgasm every time you try.

Orgasms can be a challenge, but they don’t always have to! Use one (or all!) of our tips and get ready to release that O all day long – oxytocin, that is! You’ll feel lighter and brighter knowing you’re doing your body good in so many more ways than one. Hooray for good health!

The post Sex is Good for Our Health – How to (or at Least Try to) Orgasm Every Time! appeared first on The Best-Selling Vibrating Ring | Screaming O.

There are more than 2.9 million women in the U.S. living with a history of breast cancer, and it’s the most common form of cancer among American women – often most commonly detected at home, in the shower, and probably even in the bedroom. Poking, prodding and feeling for breast lumps is one of the most effective ways to detect breast cancer at its earliest stages, and thanks to “touch-ups” like these, the American Cancer Society says survival rates are well into the 70th percentile.

Breast cancer at its earliest stage often shows no symptoms other than small (usually painless) tumors, so it’s essential to feel yourself up at least once a month. And that’s where breast cancer prevention gets fun.

Turn this important task into a treat by using sensual massage to self-examine for lumps and bumps and (if you’ve got one) invite your partner to lend a hand. Try using your favorite massage oil and make the experience feel way better than your doctor’s basic breast exam.

Plus, the National Breast Cancer Foundation says that 40% of diagnosed breast cancers are detected this way, so reach out and touch yourself. No really; do it right now

Here’s how:

· Stand up straight and with the pads of your fingers, follow a circular pattern around your entire breast starting from the outside to the center. Feel for any lumps, thick bits or hard knot-like bumps.

· Stand in front of a mirror and check yourself out. Turn to the left, now turn to the right, and lift your arms to look for any swelling, dimples or areas that look wonky. Keep in mind that your breasts aren’t a matched set (no woman’s are!) so it’s OK if they look different from each other. Just look for parts that don’t look like the usually do.

· Lie down on your back and put your right arm behind your head. With your left hand, make little circular motions around the entire breast and armpit area and don’t forget to squeeze your nipple, too. Then switch and do the same with your left arm behind your head and right hand doing the prodding. Feel for the same lumps and bumps that you did while standing up.

If you feel something out of the ordinary, don’t fret. Call your gyno and get a check-up – he or she will be able to tell whether it’s something to take seriously.

And if you don’t feel something, don’t stop feeling yourself up! The breasts and nipples are incredibly sensitive erogenous zones, so why not get handsy and celebrate your proactive health-conscious habits?

Little known (but such an incredibly cool) fact: Scientists found that rubbing/flicking/licking the nipples activates the same part of the brain as when you rub/flick/lick your clitoris! That’s right; touch your nipples or diddle your clit – your brain’s gonna react the same way. And we all know how important it is to get the brain on board when you’re getting busy. Giving yourself a self-exam can actually feel sexy – there’s nothing hotter than being good to your body (especially your breasts) – so think of it as foreplay for life.

We hope you love your boobs as much as everyone else does! They’re getting checked out more than you think – watch Nestle Fitness’ new #checkyourselfie campaign for proof! – so check yourself out, too. You’ll feel so much better! (In more ways than one!)

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