The Best Ways to Introduce Sex Toys into Your Relationship

Sex toys have become as common a conversation piece as the weather, but it’s still tricky to ask our partners whether or not they’d be down to try a cock ring or mini vibe. Sex toys can be intimidating, almost scary, to those of us who’ve never dreamed of putting something with a motor near our nether regions. And others associate sex toys with filling some kind of void or fixing an inadequacy in our current sexual situations, which are NOT good feelings for foreplay.

Fortunately, there are ways to side-step the insecurities and taboo that sex toys can bring, and we’ve compiled some of our favorite and most effective tips just for you!

1. Use Your Words
“But we don’t NEED one.” Heard this before? It’s not uncommon for men or women to feel as though sex toys are made to take the place of human interaction and body parts, but almost every sex toy on the planet can be enjoyed as a couple. So keep that in mind when you’re thinking about how to broach the subject and be sure to include your partner in the idea.

“I read that using a vibrator while we have sex can help me orgasm faster! I’d love to try that tonight!”

“I think it’d be super-hot to wear a butt plug next time we’re together – what do you think?”

“Thinking about you using a sex toy makes me so horny – can we try one sometime?”

The most important goal is to make sure your partner understands that sex toys are sexual enhancements – NOT replacements – and that whatever new gadget or gizmo makes it into the bedroom is for both of your pleasures. These kinds of intimate products add sensations and stimulation in ways our fingers and bodies simply can’t, and that’s what makes them so exciting – and SO worth trying.

2. Shop Together
Shopping is a treat for some and a drag to others, but when it comes to picking out something sexy to use together, you HAVE to check out your options as a team! If you or your partner isn’t part of the selection process, one of you will miss out on an important bonding experience that helps set the scene (and the mood) for what might happen later behind closed doors. Maybe she would have liked the blue vibrator instead of the pink. Or maybe he would have wanted to try that cock ring you saw but didn’t buy.

Perusing the shelves of lingerie, cock rings, mini vibes and other sexy playthings gives you both the opportunity to explore and see what catches your eye – you might be surprised at what strikes you!

Plus, shopping together gives you both a chance to learn a little more about each other’s curiosities and kinks, which builds intimacy almost as fast as anticipation. And once you get comfortable shopping for sex gear together, heading to the store (or even simply scrolling through adult shopping sites online) can feel like foreplay without anyone’s clothes even hitting the ground.

3. Start Small
If you’re new to sex toys, or if your partner is open but still not convinced, it might be a good idea to start with the basics before moving onto something next-level. Think about what you’re curious to try together (Anal play? Clit stimulation during doggy style? Maybe a vibrating ring?) and check out your options. Some products are made to be disposable, something you can try once to see if you like it – and then toss if you don’t. Most sex toys have beginner-level versions that are reusable but cost a lot less, which takes some of the pressure off of choosing the perfect one.

Stretchy one-size-fits-most cock rings are low-cost, low-commitment, and typically easier for beginners to try. Bullets, mini vibes, and small hand-held massagers are great starter vibrators for stimulating the clitoris, nipples, testicles, taint – pretty much anywhere that feels sensitive to the touch. Vibrating tongue rings or vibrating penis rings are also fun and inexpensive options for those of us just starting out on our sex toy adventures.

Most of us wouldn’t jump in the deep end before learning to doggy paddle or put the pedal to the metal during a DMV driving test. The same goes for sex toy shopping: ease your way into it and try to keep the pace of your partner. Work your way up to the next level as a team and enjoy the ride along the way!

4. Sharing is Caring
No matter what the package might say, most vibrators can – and SHOULD! – be used on men AND women. Mini vibes are great for her clitoris, but don’t forget that he might like to feel the buzz on his balls during a blowjob. And vibrating rings feel great worn around the penis and testicles, but try wrapping the ring around a finger and touching her nipples or teasing her lips.

CAUTION: This is only safe to do when you and your partner have been tested and declared STI-free, because you’ll inevitably be swapping more than just each other’s sex toys while you’re at it. And please keep in mind that anything that goes in or around your anal area should be washed thoroughly before it goes anywhere near the rest of your body to avoid spreading icky bacteria where you don’t want it! #themoreyouknow

5. Learn by Doing
No one wants to be schooled in the bedroom (even if we could use a tip or three) and that especially applies when sex toys are part of the plan. One of you might know a little more about vibrators than the other, but don’t take on the teacher role just yet – unless that’s part of the fantasy, of course!

Open each toy and read the instructions together. Part of the fun is checking them out, turning them on, and watching each other’s faces change as you experiment with what feels good, what feels “meh,” and what feels “ohmigoddontstop.”

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The Best Ways for Men & Women to Masturbate

Some of the best sex we have is when we’re all by ourselves, and that’s one of the many reasons why masturbating is so beneficial! While it might seem pretty self-explanatory, there isn’t just one way to self-love and we’re here to show you how to enhance your hands and blow your minds!

For the GUYS!

1. Give It a Tug
As you’re stroking and getting close to orgasm, take a minute to cup your testicles in your non-occupied hand and give ‘em a little squeeze. Then right as the wave of ecstasy comes, gently (or not gently, depending on your preferences!) tug and pull your testicles down toward your anus. Many men find this extra attention feels incredibly erotic and can help make orgasms feel even more intense.

2. Caress Your Corona
Your corona is a little bundle of nerve endings on the underside of the head of your penis. It’s one of the most sensitive spots on your shaft and many men find it pleasurable to tickle or rub that area as they get it on (with themselves).

So next time you’re jerking off, try lubing up your hand (or your stroker, if you’re using a sex toy for men) and putting most of the massaging focus on the corona – especially as you get closer to orgasm. You can even get both hands involved and use your left to stroke this sweet spot while the right keeps a tight grip on everything else.

3. Buzz Your Balls (and Everywhere Else!)
Our hands can only do so much, which is why we love the wonderful world of sex toys! The skin on and around the testicles, as well as the perineum (aka the taint), are incredibly sensitive to touch and vibration – and when combined with your regular stroking motion, can incite an incredible explosion of…pleasure!

Try a mini vibe, like a bullet massager, or something that attaches to your finger for easy use. Use your free hand to run the sex toy along your testicles and sensitive areas or, if you want full-power results, press it firmly against your taint just as you reach orgasm for a big finish.

For the GALS!

1. Free the Nipples!
The nipples are an important, yet often forgotten, erogenous zone that sexuality researchers have found connects to the same receptors of the brain as your clitoris – so why not combine the two for double the pleasure?

But sometimes our fingers can only go so far, which is why we love compact and easy-to-use mini vibes that can be worn on your fingertips! Add a little lube and glide the vibe along your areolas in circular motions with one hand while you leave your other hand free to fondle whatever else you’re in the mood for. We guarantee you’ll feel heightened pleasure and might even reach orgasm faster as a result of the double-team touching!

2. Try a Sex Toy
Many women use their fingers, pillows or firm objects to rub, hump and wiggle against while they masturbate, which is a great way to do the diddling deed. But sometimes our bodies can grow accustomed to the same styles of stimulation, which is why we encourage women to switch things up and incorporate new techniques.

There are many sex toys out there designed to be unobtrusive and easy to use for first-timers or women who don’t want to deal with a massive massager. Some attach to your fingers and stay in place with a stretchy ring while others are hand-held and pack a lot of power into a tiny shape, which means putting them under whatever you’re humping on or even directly against your clitoris can result in raging orgasms. They’re especially useful when you need to rub one out in a pinch!

3. Breathe
Yeah yeah, we know. “Breathe” is a favorite of yoga instructors and hipsters looking for something to tattoo on their wrists, but when it comes to better sex, they’re on to something. There are ways to incorporate different breathing techniques into your masturbation routine and experience lovely results, and they won’t leave you breathless or lightheaded – unless you want them to.

Our bodies need oxygen to keep our blood flowing smoothly and the more we inhale, the better our blood can reach the key parts of our bodies. Notice when you’re masturbating if you tend to hold your breath and try letting out some air as you get closer to orgasm. And when you start climbing the peak stages of pleasure, make an effort to breathe deeeeep and exhale completely in a steady rhythm. By the time you climax, your orgasm will grow intensely and you may feel an incredibly satisfying release unlike anything you’ve ever felt. That’s the power of oxygen!

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How often does the average girl get to practice her dedicated deepthroat skills outside of the bedroom? Unless of course she’s some kind of kinkster who gets off on the risk of getting caught, but what about when you do it on stage? That doesn’t happen too often outside of Amsterdam.

And also apparently Texas.

The Screaming O Stage Show traveled to the Lone Star State and dared the southern audience to bring it to the stage, and O-faces and maniacal moans resonated throughout Stillettos Cabaret as women competed for a slew of free Screaming O stuff.

And those not on board for competitive entertainment, Schevelle was on hand to strut her stuff with her crew to dance and deliver the erotic goods. She’s impossible to resist…like the innocent charm of a Texas gal in hells asking for help pumping her gas.

(It happened to me once. I almost exploded.)

Stilettos is the first strip club in the area to offer the Screaming O Stage Show and will hold the event in both locations Sept. 10 and 11 at 9 p.m. Be there or be square…and probably bored, too.

You have to see all of the photos to appreciate the first two nights of the Screaming O Club Weekend  in the McAllen Texas area.

There is one more night (Tonight) to go but we had to show you whats been going on so far.. The Adam & Eve store was great, then we went downtown to a place called Vice with the Stilettos Cabaret crew. What a fun night that was.

Last night we did the full gambit  Screaming O shows, Blow Jobs and all,  and Shay Lynn performed twice on stage, which took up the entire night, so we had to do the after party with the guys at the Brownsville Stilettos.

We will have a full recap next week when we wake up, you have to hear the “Hey where did I leave my car” story

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There’s no motor. No batteries in sight. You’re going back to your roots with the Ojoy, and I mean way back – like when you first realized your thumb and index finger were capable of a lot more than hitchhiking and picking your nose.

The Ojoy stretches around the cock-and-balls like every other cockring, but what makes this guy most appealing is its silent but heavenly function – the extended top part, traditionally meant for some kind of buzzing motor device thing, features a series of firm tickler dots and a curvature on the underside that essentially cradles whatever finger you feel like using that day/night.

So basically instead of tiring out your (or his) finger while you’re going at it (especially when she’s on top) the Ojoy is like having a comfortable pillow that does all the work for your hand.

No carpal tunnel here and no distracting buzz-zzz-z…zzzzzzzzzzzzz sound. Just lots screaming. The good kind.

Warn your neighbors. Or don’t…whatev.

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These aren’t just stripper events people – which means you can bring your chick(s) or whomever to the bar and pretend you didn’t know there were going to be a group of well-endowed, scantily clad dancers on the stage.

“Wow, honey, look! They do that here? Who’d a thunk?”

They do contests to see who can fake the best orgasm, who can make the best O-face, and who can ride each other and be the sexiest cowgirl in the room. Prizes are always tossed out, and they even have a top name in the exotic dancing circuit headlining each event.

Schevelle (if you haven’t heard of her, two words: Google Images) is an award-winning showgirl and entertainer, and her swiveling and bouncing has gotten her two nominations for “Entertainer of the Year” by Exotic Dancer Magazine.

That’s like Food & Wine Magazine nominating your grilled cheese and ham sandwiches as the best in the nation. It’s kind of a big deal, and definitely delicious.

They’ve even hosted a couple on college campuses, and have a safe sex theme to make the faculty OK with it…and as a result give away free condoms and vibrators.

Heck yes, teach me anything. Just don’t forget my gift bag.

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