Cancer affects every aspect of your – and your partner’s – life and it can feel almost impossible to find the time, energy and desire for intimacy of any kind. Treatment can be intense and invasive and cause physical changes in the body that, matched with the emotional strain, often extinguish any sense of sexual fire that might still be glowing inside. But while the physical and psychological effects are incredibly real, they don’t have to be barriers in the bedroom. There are a multitude of tools that women can use to help them build, maintain and celebrate their sexuality during every stage of cancer treatment.

The brain is women’s No. 1 most important sex organ. When the mind is distracted, diverted or clouded by stress, sex is often the last activity on her to-do list and orgasms simply don’t come easily – or at all. Logically, cancer causes myriad emotional stresses (depression, anxiety, guilt, fear) but it also wreaks havoc on a woman’s sexual desire, self-worth, self-esteem, and the physical changes that come before, during and after treatment make many women feel simply unsexy.

And even with a positive mindset, the physical effects of cancer can make sex difficult, even painful, which leaves some women feeling “broken” and unequipped to deal with the way their bodies have changed. Vaginal dryness, painful intercourse, nausea, extreme fatigue, loss of sensation – they’re all very common and very real obstacles to navigate alongside what can be an incredibly scary disease. Especially when mastectomy or other surgeries are involved.

But the good news is that, while the mind and body undergo change, your orgasms probably won’t! The American Cancer society reports that almost all women maintain their orgasmic abilities after treatment and that it may be as easy as before – it just takes practice. Fortunately, the experimentation process alone is a wonderfully effective way to build and strengthen intimacy with a partner, even if intercourse or orgasm isn’t the end result!

So as you prepare to make pleasure practice a regular part of your life, here are some important factors to keep in mind as you learn new ways to enjoy a healthy sex life:

• Treatment can be exhausting, so schedule sex for times you feel most rested. Your partner can help with chores and other tiresome activities around the house to help you preserve energy. Just avoid getting busy after eating a heavy meal.

• Getting in the mood can feel like a major feat, so try new forms of foreplay to help put your mind in the game. Sexy music, erotica or even soft porn can get juices flowing, and sensual massage is an intimate and effective way to relax, soothe nerves, and feel comfortable to move on to the next steps. A warm bath or shower with scented candles or oils also can help stimulate the senses – especially if you invite your partner to join in.

• Play with positions. Before treatment, reverse cowgirl or doggy style may have been your go-to’s, but they put incredible strain on joints and energy levels. Try positions that require less physical exertion: lie on your side (spooning-style) or on your back with your hips at the edge of the bed. These positions help you feel deep and satisfying pleasure while keeping you and your partner intimately close, and make it easier for your body to relax and get into the groove.

• Sex might feel different and you may need additional stimulation to help you feel pleasure in the ways you’re accustomed to, especially when it comes to having an orgasm. Sex toys are a fun and effective way to give your (or your partner’s) fingers a rest and can even enhance sensations in an entirely new way, making orgasm come easier and faster. Try massaging a mini vibrator on your clitoris during foreplay or in certain sex positions you find comfortable and see how you feel. You might be surprised by how much you (and your partner!) love it.

• Lubrication is key for comfortable and pleasurable intercourse, but chemotherapy, stress and so many other factors (dehydration, distraction, menopause) get in the way of your vagina’s usual waterworks. An all-natural water-based or silicone-based lubricant is recommended to keep sex slick and smooth while preventing any kind of chafing, rubbing and general discomfort that vaginal dryness can cause.

• Sexual pleasure beyond intercourse can satisfy both partners when penetration just isn’t an option. Intimacy is so much more than penetration and the sense of touch – and being touched – can be incredibly erotic while connecting you and your partner (literally and figuratively) at a different level. Caress, hug and massage the skin and use hands to stimulate sensitive areas while being mindful of areas to avoid. The neck, forearms, stomach, inner thigh and even feet are erogenous zones not to be missed! And remember: orgasms don’t have to be your goal.

• Sex during chemo can require extra precautions: When blood counts are low, avoid intercourse and oral stimulation as they can spread bacteria and increase risk of infection. Birth control is a must if pregnancy is possible.

• Communicate what you’re feeling, both emotionally and physically. You’re both learning how to be intimate with each other in a completely new way and it’s important to give each other space to share concerns, feelings and ideas. Easier said than done, but it feels less scary each time you open up.

• A good sense of humor can help you get through some of the most awkward, uncomfortable and embarrassing parts of the process. It’s OK to laugh at sounds, smells or situations that are way out of your comfort zones – you’re in it together (in more ways than one) and you’ll feel stronger with every chuckle.

There are a wide variety of trusted resources available online and at various treatment centers to learn more about sexual health before, during and after cancer – the Dana-Farber Cancer Institute (one of the nation’s leading cancer hospitals) even devotes an entire program to it. Don’t feel afraid to ask your doctor for more information; sex and intimacy is one of the most common concerns of women and couples undergoing treatment. You’re not alone: breast cancer affects 1 in 8 U.S. women at some point in their lives, and preserving the intimate relationships they hold with their partners – and especially themselves – is key to maintaining a healthy and happy sense of wellbeing during one of the most stressful times in life.

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It’s the final Friday of May, which means Masturbation Month officially ends in just a couple of days. But no need to shed a tear or furiously finger your naughty bits – we all know that self-love is celebrated all year long. Instead, we thought we’d leave you with a sexy suggestion that turns masturbation into way more than a solo experience. Enter the supremely satisfying experience of mutual masturbation with the help of some sexy gifts from The Screaming O!

Masturbation is traditionally something we all do behind closed doors when no one is looking. It’s private and the idea of letting someone else see us do it – even if we’ve been together for years – can feel scary and almost embarrassing. But nothing builds intimacy faster than breaking down barriers, and we guarantee you’ll end up feeling closer, happier and hornier than ever.

The last few weeks have brought us the Soft-Touch Bullet mini vibe, the award-winning Screaming O Vibrating Ring, the hand-tastic Paco’s Taco™ stroker for men, and the always popular Fing O® finger-fitted mini massager. Now we’re combining a powerful sexual enhancement balm with a vibrating libido booster to show you all the different ways it takes two to tango.

Get in the mood and flirt with some pre-fun foreplay with KissOboo kissable body balms. These little lip-gloss-like pots have an all-natural petroleum-free and paraben-free balm that you can rub on all of your sensitive zones. Edible, kissable and deliciously safe, KissOboo adds a tingly sizzle or shiver (depending on the flavor you choose) everywhere it touches. So rub it on your lips, nips and naughty bits and do the honors for your partner and feel it work right away! And ladies – kiss his balls, nip at her neck, and take canoodling to a new level!

And while you’re tingling and sizzling all over each other, we suggest inviting a friend in for the ride – an AmigO, that is. The AmigO is a mini vibrator that combines the super-powered vibration of a bullet vibe with reusable silicone sleeves uniquely shaped to target very specific pleasure zones. They’re compact and easy to hold, too, so you can go to town on yourself while your partner watches intently – and can easily join in for an assist. And these tiny massagers feel just as good on his balls, nipples and thighs as they do on women’s hot spots so don’t be afraid to experiment on yourselves. Chances are, neither one of you will be able to hold back for long.

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It’s week 2 of Masturbation Month and we have to imagine that you’ve gotten better acquainted with your nether regions by now – all in the name of celebrating a national holiday, of course. We’re kicking things into second gear and getting you prepared for the next level of self-love, so hold on tight!

Last week we started with the basics and recommended a Soft-Touch Bullet – with 3 speeds and a pulse function to keep things interesting – but this week we’re adding a second sex toy to the mix to make sure you’re making the most of your extremities.

You’ve been graced with two hands, so why on earth use only one while you get busy with yourself? So as you diddle around with your new Screaming O Soft Touch Bullet, take a Screaming O Vibrating Ring in the other hand and add a vibrating twist to the mix. Here’s how:

Ladies: You know what to do with your mini massager. Keep that thing close to your clit at all times and don’t look back. Now take your Screaming O Vibrating Ring (it’s won all kinds of awards, by the way…it’s the ish) and wrap it around the pointer and middle fingers of your free hand with the vibrating motor facing palm-side. Once you flip the switch, the vibration will transfer all the way up your fingers so that when you touch yourself – nipples, stomach, lips, anywhere you like – you’ll feel a titillating tingle that’ll send you over the edge.

And gentlemen: You’ve got your Soft-Touch Bullet in one hand (and on your balls) and your other hand occupied, but there’s still room for a Vibrating Ring to do its thing. Stretch the ring around your shaft and balls with the motor positioned wherever you like it most: under your balls for extra stimulation or, if it’s too much with the Soft-Touch Bullet buzzing, place the motor at the top of your shaft. When you switch it on, you’ll send hands-free vibration up and down your dick that will blow your…mind in minutes.

The Screaming O Vibrating Ring

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It’s that time of year again, when panties drop and pants get a little tighter as we dedicate an entire month to masturbation. Self-love is a special thing and there’s no right or wrong way to do it, so The Screaming O is here to give you some tips and tricks – and sex toy recommendations – to help make May even merrier.

This week we’re reminding you, our fans, to have sex with someone they love – yourselves! – and make it a very special date. There’s no one more important in your life than you, so treat yourself like the king or queen you are and turn up the heat a tad with a special mini vibe that will turn every masturbation session into a special event. So set the scene, sprinkle some petals, and turn down the lights in anticipation for a very special Masturbation Month celebration.

The Soft-touch Bullet is a sophisticated twist on a classic mini massager with a powerful multifunction motor and smooth surface that glides across your skin like silk! Choose from three speeds and one pulsation function to tease and please and buzz with the kind of vibration you can’t find anywhere else.

Ladies – give your fingers a rest and put the Soft-touch Bullet to work. It’s petite and easy to hold (no carpal tunnel this time!) and feels great on all of your erogenous zones, and when you’re ready for the grand finale, just kick it into high gear and ride the waves. Your legs will wobble and your mind will muddle – but only for a moment. Until your next round, of course.

And gentlemen – you might think mini vibes are for the fairer sex, but let us recommend a Soft-Touch Bullet for the ol’ balls. There’s nothing quite like getting a little extra tingle down under while the main event goes down and the Soft Touch Bullet is the perfect compact companion to the palm of your hand. Set it on low and enjoy the soft rumble – you’ll thank us later.

Soft Touch Vibrating Bullets

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